Keep Your Power

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” ~ W. C. Fields

Sometimes we try something new, and when we don’t see immediate results we are quick to condemn and say, “Bah! This doesn’t work.”

Maybe it was that new diet you tried, and after a week your weight hadn’t changed so you gave up and said, “Bah! This diet doesn’t work.”

Maybe you read about a new pickup technique, but it didn’t get the results that you were promised so you threw your hands up and scowled, “Bah! This technique doesn’t work.”

Sure, some things are just a waste of time, and that’s just the way it is, but when it comes to pickup, it helps us to be thorough and experiment before we condemn.

Before you condemn, ask yourself the following questions:

• Did you stick to the plan? You’re out meeting women, putting this great new approach you’ve learnt to the test, and everything is going great. Suddenly, this urge to do things that old way pops up. “Maybe,” you think, “it will be different this time. I know the guru said not to do this, but I’m going to try anyways.” Naturally, everything falls apart, then you rush home to the online forums and post, “That guy’s technique doesn’t work!”

  If you want to get the most out of what a guru teaches, stick to the plan. First, get comfortable at doing things the way you’ve been taught to do them. After that you will be able to innovate and reach an even higher level.

• Are you committed to making this work? There are few techniques you can try and expect to work for you right off the bat. So, when you are out having a good time and experimenting with what you learn, hang in there until it works. Of course, if you try something thirty times and keep getting poor results, it is probably time to try a different approach.

  For any new general style of pickup, I’ve found that a good policy for experimenting is to commit to a 30-day trial where you follow that style, and only that style. Suspend all disbelief for that time, and if it doesn’t work by then, look into a different approach.

Remember: the experts that teach this stuff aren’t responsible for making this stuff work — it’s up to us. Some of it takes time, some of it works instantaneously, and sometimes we just have to move on and try something new.

Popularity: 91% [?]

What if you had ten girlfriends?

It would be great at first…

You never sleep alone and have lots of variety.
You cross that off your Things To Do Before I Die list.
Your women give you back rubs, do your laundry, and feed you grapes and fan you with a giant feather while you lay in bed.

…But what’s the cost?

Now that you have it, the thrill of the chase is gone.
You never hang out with your friends, enjoy your hobbies, or do all those things you once loved doing.
Your boss is on your back because your work is suffering.

*sigh*

“Pimpin’ ain’t easy.”

…Or is it?

There is an easy way to build an amazing lifestyle full of harems, threesomes, long-term relationships, or whatever floats your boat if we keep one thing in mind:

The means do not justify the end.

Going on fifty dates, mercilessly begging for hours, putting your life on hold, or getting sidetracked from the important things in life does not justify itself because it can get you laid.

Our goal here is to attract and keep women in only the most fun and enjoyable ways — anything less is unacceptable.

So, if we we’re starting from scratch here (no girlfriends, no social life, etc.) what can we do to get started?

1. Stop calling women. This is how to free up 99% of the time that most so-called players give up in the pursuit of women. Taking numbers and constantly pursuing women to setup meetings, spending hours chatting on the phone, and creating all this extra work for ourselves is not our aim.

   Our aim is to meet in person with women who are interested in us and enjoy our time together. Do we really want to chase down people who are going to waste our time? Of course not! We leave our lines of communication open to people who want to meet up, and if they don’t call, that’s fine because we never had to give anything up other than our number.

   There’s a lot that can be said about this way of living, and if you want to hear it from an expert on the topic, checkout Brent Smith and Dave M’s podcast at attracthotterwomen.com.

2. Screen faster. Is she hot? That’s a good start. Is she intelligent? Bonus! Does she have a negative attitude? BZZT! Move on. Does she want you to take her on three dinner dates before she thinks about sleeping with you? BZZT! Move on.

   Sure, some of my criteria in a woman will differ from yours, and not any little thing should be a complete show-stopper, but if she is going to create drama or waste your time, move on! Unless you develop the habit of walking away fast when your criteria isn’t met, you might find yourself stuck with a harem from hell.

3. Meet her on your terms. Cancelling plans, driving for hours to chauffer or meet women, and general bending over backwards to get laid is a headache no man needs, and ultimately an attraction killer.

   Let’s keep it simple: meet women where you chose, when you chose.

   Bring her into your world. Let her know she’s welcome to join you and your friends at your favourite lounge. Give her directions to the cosy hole-in-the-wall cafe across the street from your home. Make it a relaxing night at home, and tell her to stop by if she feels like it (and to pickup some beverages along the way).

   It’s time to stop jumping through hoops! Besides, it’s pretty much unsustainable to have more than one high-maintenance girlfriend.

We can start redefining what success with women is by attracting (and keeping) beautiful women without sacrificing everything to get there. Let’s make pimpin’ easy — it doesn’t have to be difficult.

Popularity: 30% [?]

Once upon a time I approached forty women and asked them if they’d like to sleep with me.

It took me months of conditioning to build up enough confidence to do that confidently.

…And it only took me a couple weeks to lose it all.

Whenever life got busy I had to drop my social activities, and my confidence would fade away. Then a couple weeks later I’d be back at the clubs eight days a week trying to regain it. With enough consecutive nights out, I’d get it back, only to lose it again when I had no time to go out.

What a vicious cycle it was!

As I started to wonder why I was losing my momentum, I was noticing things about my lifestyle.

By day, I was just an another jackass, not exceptionally friendly or outgoing. My social interactions were limited to my existing friends, the same people I saw every day, or the waitresses and cashiers who were required to talk to me.

By night, I was out partying, hitting on girls, making new friends, and being the life of the party. I knew all the staff and all the regular bar stars at my favourite clubs and couldn’t walk down the nightclub strips without running into people I recognized.

Every day I’d wake up as a different person, and every night I’d go to sleep as another person.

The solution was so obvious!

I didn’t have to do five-thousand more approaches. What would be the point? I’d done so many I pretty much knew what to expect. I didn’t have to watch 23 more seminars. I’d seen far too many as it was.

If I ever wanted to keep that momentum, there was only one way to bridge the gap:

I had to stop spending all that time trying to “get into state” and start living my life in that state, constantly.

I had to take the risk of being just as outgoing in a grocery store, on the street, on the bus, or at the gym, as when I was when I was out the club.

Even if it seemed weird and unusual, I wanted to become the kind of person who broke all social barriers.

For me to keep my momentum and bridge the gap between the different lives I was living, I decided to change a few things:

1. Speak to everyone. This is how I stay “in state” pretty much all the time. It’s been as simple as saying “how’s it going?” to the cashiers, waitresses, people in line, at the gym, on the train, and all people who come across my path in my daily life. Not only was this change the trick to preventing the loss of all my momentum, but it has lead to tons of opportunities that allowed me to build a massive social network.
2. Lead a more interesting life. For me, I had to give up going out eight nights a week and get back in touch with all the fun hobbies I had before I let the game take over my life. When I picked up my hobbies again and spent more time with friends, I was meeting naturally just by doing fun stuff and rarely ever going to a club. The biggest difference came from simply asking myself what really makes me happy.
3. Be social over seductive. Being socially-connected is a characteristic of a naturally social guy, and from my experiences I was not having success building a social network by trying to sleep with every girl I met. When I focused on having fun and making friends, I stopped walking into every social situation thinking about how I was going to seduce women, which was the exact barrier holding me back from so many great social interactions.

It took a while, but I eventually adopted all these behaviours. It was easy to practice because I no longer had to go out eight nights a week, and I had to fall back in love with all my hobbies, hang out with all my friends, and have a good time.

At first I didn’t want to become a more social and less aggressive guy because I felt that being more social meant I was being an “excuser” or that I was going to fall into the “just a friend” category, but it’s not really like that at all. The reality is that when I’m having a good time and not just looking to pickup chicks is when I meet the most women. Of course, if I use this as a technique to pickup girls it doesn’t work… but that’s a whole other blog post.

Popularity: 24% [?]

I’m convinced that fashion is a key element of what pickup artists need to know.

Now, for some of you, the F-word makes you cringe, shiver, and scream in terror. For a minute, try to bear with me and let’s just assume, for the sake of this article, that fashion is really, really important stuff.

Ok, so why is it important? Well, I’d say mainly because you can attract women simply by dressing a certain way, even if you don’t have the seduction skills to pickup the morning paper off your porch.

For some guys, poor fashion is the exact reason they spend hundreds of dollars a years on tissues and lotion instead of condoms.

Some dudes I’ve known dress so awful I want to claw my own eyes out when I have to look at them. They’ve paid hundreds of dollars to take bootcamps, studied every pickup method under the sun, and they tell me they have a “sticking point with kinoing” or something.

They show up to the club dressed like a convicted child molester who just stepped out of a time capsule from 1953. Women are repelled and run in horror. Their friends pretend they don’t know them. One or two people take pitty on you and put some spare change into their cup, mistaking them for a street person.

It’s really bad. Some guys I know personally would benefit so much just from at least dressing normal. It’s not necessary to learn everything about fashion (I hardly know anything really) or to wear all the latest and greatest cream of the crop, but sometimes it can really hold guys back.

Anyways, I just read Brad P’s Fashion Bible and that got me thinking about all that stuff. The book is not about all the stuff I’ve heard before like match shoes with your belt and other crap like that, it’s about the psychology behind fashion and how it causes attraction. Check it out, it’s really amazing.

Popularity: 22% [?]

As Daniel Rose states in his phenomenal ebook The Sex God Method, Sex Is The Ultimate Method of Attraction.

Yet what most guys are learning about attraction involves 59-step routines, creepy hypno-patterns, wearing silly outfits, and generally trying to create attraction with techniques that are highly over-complicated.

What teachers like Daniel Rose know is that one of the best ways to attract and keep beautiful women is to be able to give them levels of sexual pleasure like they’ve never experienced before. Though many guys realize this, Daniel Rose points out that most guys are focusing on learning more techniques to physically stimulate women when really the key to being a better lover lies in stimulating her mind:

“It should be obvious that the key to becoming great in bed does not lie in ways to stimulate the body; it lies in ways to stimulate the mind. While physical technique has its place, what will really drive a woman crazy is knowing how to arouse her psychologically. Combine this arousal with basic physical technique, and you have a recipe for great sex.”

What I really liked about this book is that the method itself is a very simple model that is built upon four fundamental elements: Dominance, Emotion, Variety, Immersion. It’s a very natural approach to developing sexual confidence because it doesn’t involve learning a step-by-step method, rather it’s about learning to apply these elements in a balanced way. There are also plenty of examples and guidelines in this book on how to develop mastery in these areas.

Probably the greatest value in this book is that the focus is primarily on psychological stimulation, not physical stimulation. Most sex advice marketed to men is focused on physical techniques, and it’s rare to find a book that talks about ways to stimulate a women’s mind that when combined with basic physical technique will give her more sexual pleasure than she thought possible.

I’d highly recommend this book to any guys who are interested in learning how to give women the most intense sexual experiences of their lives (I’m guessing that’s most of us). Also, this book is an ace for guys who are new to pickup (especially virgins — preparing yourself is an excellent idea) because gaining sexual confidence is not just a huge asset in the bedroom, it’s a huge asset to your overall game. Order this book now (I bought the paperback and keep it on bookshelf to read through occasionally — it even has a sexy picture of a naked girl on the front!) and your women will be truly thankful and completely hooked on you.

Popularity: 16% [?]